it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
