Are we in a gay sports bar?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
