PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
