I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
