My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
