So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
