let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize