dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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