I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He felt like a one man threesome
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You are the jesus of drinking
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
