I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
