I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
