Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
