I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
