I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
