So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
