walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
