I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
