Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
love makes seman taste better
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
