physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
