You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
