Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
