i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
