hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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