Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
