I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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