i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
