I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
