Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
