It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
