I hate your face
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Send help, water and tortillas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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