So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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