Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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