She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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