You made me cry and you don't even care
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
