You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
