very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
