U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
