I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
