I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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