i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
