her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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