I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
