Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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