Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
