Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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