So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
