Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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