I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
