a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
