She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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