Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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