i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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