So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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