The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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