i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
