i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
