Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
