and you said cock pushups were impossible
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
