North Korea, Best Korea!
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
