Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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