Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
