I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Randomize
