There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize