is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
