a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
