Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
