Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
