I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize