The best revenge is premature balding
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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