So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
