i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize