Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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