around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
