Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
