you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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