Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
