so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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