My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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