My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize