Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
