can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
