I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
