dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
