$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
