All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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