I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
