i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
