We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
