I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
