I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
