he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
