my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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