One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
